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Angel
Wings
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Angel
Wings
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February 2010Dear Velvet Angel,
Thank you! I would love to receive some advice from the angels to help me make my marriage better, or if this is something I should let go of. A lot of struggles have been happening in my relationship of 9 years. I miss the connection and love but haven't felt that for a few years with my partner. I don't think he is having an affair or anything like that. But the closeness is so lacking for us these days.Warmly,
J.C.
Companionship
The angels speak about companionship. We often have our own personal ideas about what companionship is all about, but today we will let the angels share with us about what companionship means to them. The Angel of Companionship brings to you the gift of loving support. You have a sincere desire to work on this marriage, and because there have been some ongoing troubles in the relationship over the last few years, the first step is to strive for "companionship" with your partner. All of this love and closeness really was not lost overnight. It happened over time. And you've reach a point where you can really feel this now, more than ever before.The angels encourage you to look for the best parts of both yourself and your partner. By making some changes yourself, your partner is likely to follow your lead in this. You don't have to sit down and discuss with him any changes you are going to try to implement. But just try some things that the angels will talk about here to help allow for companionship between the two of you to be present again. And once you do so, your husband will notice the difference -- and will like it!
Be a supportive companion to your partner. When he is discouraged or troubled, don't try to keep score with an attitude of, "Well he wasn't there for me when I went through an ordeal, so I'm not going to make an effort to be there for him either." That kind of thinking must be halted immediately! It doesn't matter who was there or not there for any given situation. What matters is what you do now. So forget the past and focus on the present now. Listen to him when he wants to vent, gripe, or complain about his day or whatever is on his mind. And when something is going great for him, share in his victory. Give him a boost of encouragement and support . . . and he'll do the same for you as well. Something you can say to let him know you are really listening to him (such as when he is having a bad day) is to say, "I'm really sorry that things didn't go well. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Since the two of you haven't had that kind of respect going on between the two of you lately, he might not take you seriously at first. But don't give up. The level of companionship needs to be rebuilt, and so you need to be patient. It won't take weeks or months to do, but just give this a fair chance, and you'll see results faster than you would expect with your partner!
The angels tell us that a devoted companion is there to share in the victories of his or her partner, and a devoted companion is also there to be supportive when things aren't going so well. This kind of attention and support is a form of "giving" to the relationship. And before you know it, you'll be getting something in return for the effort. Part of this is a matter of respecting each other and showing that you care. It seems to be a relationship worth saving, and it might as well be a positive experience for both of you, instead of a miserable one. I don't feel that either of you want to throw this away. But respect and companionship have to be re-established here so that you and this man can better communicate with each other and show some real support to each other.
Don't hold expectations of your mate that he couldn't possibly fulfill. That only sets things up for needless "failure" and disappointment. Consider what kinds of unrealistic expectations you may have been harboring in this relationship. Essentially, be the kind of companion to your partner that you would want him to be for you. And although he may not do everything or say everything exactly as you would . . . learn to appreciate what he is able to offer you. And in turn, he'll appreciate you all the more. You and he can re-establish the connection. And it can be so incredibly exciting when you see some progress being made. You'll notice that there will be more intimacy. And he'll look at you for a change -- really look at you -- in a way that he hasn't done for awhile. If you are willing to change things from your side of the relationship, he will find the same willingness to follow your lead. And the gap can be bridged so that the two of you can find real companionship and reconnect with each other.
There are other sweet things that you can do for your partner. Leaving little notes that he can find through the day or in the evening means something. You can tuck some notes into his coat or shirt pocket. Put a note by his alarm clock or by the coffee machine. There are many places you can leave little notes, and this can be another fun way to bring back the true companionship to the relationship. You can leave notes that say "I love you." You can leave notes that say, "I hope your day is great!" Short, sweet messages can hold a lot of meaning behind them.
Try working on some of these things, J.C., and see if it helps. Be patient with yourself and with your partner. You can start turning things around faster than you think. Within just a week or two of trying to show more care and support, and to show that you are there for him and listening to him, can do a world of good in starting the process of repair between the two of you.
Much Love and Many Blessings!
~*~Velvet Angel ~*~
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~*~Velvet Angel ~*~
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